i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
