You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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