I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
