What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
