is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When did angry sex become our thing?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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