i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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