not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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