Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize