He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
