If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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