I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
