I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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