hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
