you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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