Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
