i just sent this text using only my big toe
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
