What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
