First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
