I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
