are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
