I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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