Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
