I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
