That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize