Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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