I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My dad is sitting where you rode me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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