I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
