You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
