dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
