peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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