: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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