at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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