I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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