ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
