Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize