Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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