i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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