i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Quick, to the slutcave!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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