she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
