butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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