Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
