I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
