my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
