I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
