Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
