Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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