The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
