Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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