But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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