Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
