marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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