What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
