Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Pooping to opera.
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