no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize