he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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