and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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