I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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