i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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